What Changed Me?
There are a few turning points in my life that would ultimately change it forever, and every single moment feels like the worst thing in the world at the time, but in hindsight, i started to understand how important it was to feel and maneuver through these moments that now benefit me today.
One moment in particular was when I used to work in construction doing interlocking.
For a few years I worked for a Caribbean restaurant called Sunrise. One customer would come in, order the same thing and leave us a $20 tip each time. One day he asked me to come work for him and his business and he would pay me $18 an hour which was more than what I was being paid at the time so I did just that. I quit my job and started working for him full time.
I entered the field with zero experience quickly realizing what I’d gotten myself into. I was making more money but the work environment wasn’t healthy. Constant verbal abuse on shift I found myself getting emotional at work until one day it went too far. I ended up walking off the site during my shift after a disagreement. A part of me wanted to wait until I had gotten paid my balance of around $2500 but at that point I couldn’t care less about what he owed me. I wanted out. I found myself waking up every morning, not wanting to leave the house and it just wasn’t worth the exchange for my mental health.
From that day, I quit, and I remember dedicating a lot of my time to journaling,
I found enjoyment in writing poetry and through the act ofcatharsis
I made the decision I wanted to pursue acting as a career.
Googling how to become an actor, watching numerous amounts of videos on tips and tricks and advice, networking horizontally, and reaching out to the people I knew that were in the industry. Everything I could do to understand it more. I started doing background acting, reenactment, videos, student films, music, videos, etc.
I chose this as a pivotal point because this moment caused me to hop step into a whole new industry and since then I vowed to never do anything solely for the money which has dictated a lot of my decisions to this day.
Ultimately which I feel has brought a lot more clarity, happiness and
agency with my decisions as well as my relationship to the time I chose to use.
A few years had passed of acting. I realized I wanted to take a break because I wasn’t making enough money and it was stressful having to find ways to pay bills so I ended up getting a job. I think I was working at Guess at the time.
Basketball’s always been one of my favourite sports, I’ve used it as a form of release, therapy and enjoyment.
One day I was playing four’s during an open run at the Toronto Panama Centre. I remember someone taking a shot at the three-point line, hitting the front rim and when I pivoted to align myself with the basketball that’s when I heard a pop in my knee. Just like that, I could no longer straighten it.
I went to the hospital and was lucky enough to get an MRI right away. The next day I went into surgery to repair my knee where I would soon be bedrest for three months.
Looking back at it now, being in bed for three months sounds amazing, but in that moment, not being able to move, needing assistance with bathing and other simple needs took a toll on my mental health.
Being a lot more conscious on how I chose to spend my time, now having no choice, but to be confined to my bed, made me think about all the experiences I wanted to have as soon as I got better.
One thing I really wanted to explore was modeling.
I did so much research on YouTube on how to become a model. I started looking at agencies I wanted to apply to. I started looking at photographers’ styles who I gravitate towards. I started making plans and submitting myself to agencies.. I heard nothing back and if I did, it was usually along the lines of you’re not tall enough.
A few days later, I heard back from an agency called Miracle management and they wanted to have a meeting with me. I had to prepare a monologue, so I ended up using my audition piece for the Scarborough movie. I had just done it at the time because it was still fresh in my brain. After a few days, I got the word that I got accepted into the agency.
To my surprise, Miracle management was a talent agency not a modelling agency so even though I signed up with the intention to model, I found my way back into the acting space and little did I know signing with Miracle would give me the start I needed into the industry , with her I booked my first movie, my first travelling job, etc., a lot of first for sure.
Redirection isn’t always misdirection.
These two stories stay in the back of my mind as reminders that even if things aren’t going the way you plan… things are always working in your favour. Things are ALWAYS working YOUR favor, EVEN when they don’t FEEL like it.
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